When is Annik Skelton going to realise that it’s Mike putting silly things in google and making it look like it’s Dave?
Dave? Is that you?
What did Annik Skelton get for xmas?
Mainly hangovers.
Why do cabbies hate credit cards?
Cabbies hate everything.
Why men skinny dip?
INDEED.
Are you obliged to pay if you vomit in a cab?
Not if you give the driver a handjob afterwards. I’ve heard.
Can I get Annik Skelton with chips thanks?
Only because you asked so politely.
Can you drink beer while having teeth braces on?
I got my braces off when I was fourteen, so I had only been drinking beer for 3 years at that stage but my teeth look great now!
Can you give phenergan to a cat?
If you do, please film it and send me the video.
Does having wisdom teeth removed hurt?
No, it’s lovely.
How much do contiki site reps get paid?
That depends how much you value anonymous underage sex.
How do I start a funeral home?
First you’ll need some dead bodies. I recommend poison – it’s a most elegant mode of dispatch.
Is Augusten Burroughs uncircumcised?
As much as I obsess over Augusten Burroughs, my research does not extend that far.
Is it a good idea to watch The Exorcist alone?
Of course!
Is fucking healthy?
Yes.
Masturbate in my backyard?
Okay!
What is pedafilia?
Pedafilia was invented in 1965 by the Dutch as a means to curtail rapidly rising interest rates.
When is “I love my dentist week”?
I’m not familiar with this celebration.
Why are stay-at-home mums so condescending of me working?
The same reason Augusten Burroughs has never commented on my blog or returned any of my letters or phone calls. JEALOUSY.
Will I have sex on Contiki?
Yes.